The Worst Advice I Ever Gave

A few times a week I volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club in downtown Newport News. Last night while I was there I noticed one of the older girls didn’t look so well. I asked her if she was ok. I thought maybe she was on her monthly cycle and was cramping. Then I thought again; must be a boy. At first she brushed it off, and said she didn’t know what was wrong she just didn’t feel well. I didn’t push her to talk about it. I figured if she wanted to open up to someone she would. Later that evening she came over to me and told me she liked a boy who liked someone else. She told me this boy was her best friend. She said they had been friends for two years and that she had told him a year ago that she liked him. I pride myself on being a good mentor for young girls. I like to think at this point in my life I have a lot to offer in that department. However, when it comes to men, I’m probably just as clueless as they are. The longest relationship I’ve had to date lasted 9 months and for the majority of it I was being held captive, but that’s another story.

So what do you tell a young girl who likes a boy who doesn’t like them? I thought of what my father would say to me. I told her she was beautiful and she would meet so many guys throughout her life it’d make her sick. I told her men would make her crazy. And then I gave her what was probably the worst advice of all. I told her “The best way to get a boy to like you is to pretend like you don’t like him.” While it made her laugh, this is not something I am proud of. What I meant to say was the best way to get a boy to chase you is to pretend like you don’t like him. That doesn’t mean he will like you back, all it means is if he is looking for a challenge and you present one, he will most likely go for it. What I should have told her is the best way to get a guy to like you is to be yourself. It doesn’t mean that every guy will like you, but a guy…the right guy…he will.

I am sure I will have more opportunities to talk to her about guys and how they make us crazy. But this situation made me think about all of the advice I had been given about men over the years. I remember my Dad telling me when I was 13 and boy crazy, “Don’t ever go to a man. Let him come to you.” I didn’t always take heed to that before, but I certainly do now. When I was 15 my oldest sister told me “All men are dogs and should be treated as such.” I just looked at her like she was crazy. My naïve little heart would never allow me to believe such an extreme generalization of men. Plus I knew she was bitter. My Mother’s advice about men was “Don't have sex”, and I didn’t’, not until I was 19 years old, and even then I don’t feel I was mature enough to really conceptualize it or realize how much it would impact my life and my future relationships. As a young adult the majority of my relationship advice came from Sex and the City, but at some point I realized I wasn’t cut from the same cloth as these women and sexing my way through my twenties and hoping someone would stick around was not an ideal way to build a relationship.

And now here I am 24, single, and while I won’t say that I am completely clueless as to how to make a relationship work, I am both exhausted and disinterested in the matter. I feel like worrying about men and relationships is something I have outgrown. Or maybe I just need a break. I just don't understand why women my age spend so much time worrying about something we will never have any control over. No one ever woke up and said "I am going to fall in love today", and actually did. Well, at least no one that I know of. And once you do fall in love whose to say it will even last. I know, I know, I sound like a pessimist, but really think about it. No matter how hard you love someone, how much work you put into a relationship, how much time you invest, that person could decide at any moment they want out. Then what? I'm not saying love isn't worth the risk of getting hurt. Its just not something I choose to overly concern myself with. But I can’t tell that to these girls. That would crush their dreams, for when you are a young and innocent girl and your vision of love has yet to be tainted, love is all you dream about. It is the air that you breathe.

Customized Baby Gear

So I decided to make some customized baby gear for my friends who are expecting a sweet baby girl soon and were having a baby shower. Never did I imagine I would have so much fun and that they would come out so great. I pretty much just raided Michaels, Walmart, and Joanne's for ribbon, decorative flowers, embellishing, hats, headbands, and onesies. Almost nothing I bought was actually for apparel. The flowers I found in the scrap booking section, and the other items were in various locations. I spent quite some time in these stores but it was definitely worth it. You really just have to use your imagination. Everything was placed on with permanent fabric glue except the lettering which was iron on. And that's pretty much it. Oh and the gift box is actually a shoe box I wrapped in a brown paper bag. These will be on my etsy shop WithlovebyJackie ✌️💗♻️

Beautiful to Who?

We've all heard the cliche, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But does that still hold true in American society? Do we decide for ourselves who and what is beautiful? Do we allow others to decide if we are beautiful? Growing up with four older sisters, a very reassuring father, and a mother who is dark in skin tone like me, I never questioned whether or not I was beautiful as a child because it was something I heard all the time. Although my teeth were crooked and I didn't smile much, my family members always made it a point to tell me how pretty I was. As a kid I just went with it, but as I entered Junior High, it began to be something I questioned. I had a self esteem quite contrary to my environment. None of the boys at my school thought I was beautiful. I was teased for being too dark, too short, too skinny etc. All the boys I liked, liked the white girls, the mixed girls, and the girls who were of lighter complexion. Because I am so adaptive in nature I took on other roles. Sometimes I was the smart mouthed mean girl, others times the funny home girl, but most the time I was just quiet. Even to this day I spend a lot of time in my own head.

When I was 18 I cut my hair very short. I started getting so much attention and compliments for being able to pull off a short cut, it made me feel like a completely different person. When I was 19 I got my teeth straightened and began to smile more. Again, people started to look my way. I began to feel more confident and I started to feel as if I was finally coming into my own. I loved taking pictures and posting them on social media. I loved getting dressed up and made up and going out and receiving attention from men. It was all very satisfying....until it wasn't. I began to miss the old me. I hated that when I met men they didn't want to talk to me and only wanted to examine my physical, and tell me how attractive I was. I hated not feeling pretty when I wasn't in heels, makeup, and small skimpy dresses. I hated not feeling like I could be my true self when I was in heels, makeup, and short skimpy dresses (No man wants to debate with you about politics when your half dressed and tipsy). I had developed a false sense of confidence based on the things other people had told me about myself, all my life, and I no longer recognized the person in the mirror. Not once had I really looked in the mirror and decided for myself that I was beautiful inside and out because that's the way God made me.

When I began to focus on who I was as a person rather than how I looked, I began to feel more and more beautiful. I learned that I have a beautiful mind, a beautiful heart, and a beautiful spirit. I learned of my beautiful desire for knowledge, my beautiful yearning to change the world, and my beautiful compassion to help others. Through my relationships I learned that I am an unconditional, forgiving, rational, funny, sometimes crazy, but always devoted, beautiful lover and friend. I discovered my beauty and it had nothing at all to do with anything physical. Although I have grown to love my small yet curvy figure, my dark chocolate skin, and my Halley Berry hair, all of that is just the icing on the cake. Now when I meet a man for the first time and he tells me I'm beautiful, I laugh inside and think to myself "You have no idea how beautiful I am". I don't claim to be without insecurities. My roommate and good friend Sarah is a very pretty, voluptuous white girl and when we go out together the black men flock to her and I'm back in middle school telling jokes. But I understand now that different cultures have different ideas, different concepts, and different standards of physical beauty. In my family black is beautiful. In American culture, European standards of beauty are praised. What's more important is how we define beauty for ourselves. We can spend our whole lives trying to measure up to other peoples standards of physical beauty, or we can just decide to love ourselves for everything we are and everything we are not, and call that beautiful.

Halloween, Sexy Something's, and Me

Halloween used to be my favorite Holiday. I am a very creative person. I love getting dressed up, creating my own costume, and seeing other peoples creativity at work. However, this Halloween was kind of disturbing for me. At first I decided not to conform to the overly sexualized adult female costume trend that most women my age subscribe to on Halloween. I feel uncomfortable these day going out in a too short dress, so Halloween is really no different. I don't believe I should lower my standards just because the rest of society is doing so. I'm 23 and I'm no saint, but I have developed a certain amount of respect for my body and for myself. At some point I realized, If I don't respect me, nobody will.

Any who, this year I decided to be Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopez, the deceased member of TLC. When I finally got my costume together and put it on I did not feel liberated, I felt uncomfortable. It would have been a hell of a lot easier just to throw on the sexy cop costume I purchased back in 2008, but never actually wore out. But with some reassurance from my older sister, an encouraging cousin, and my best friend, (via facebook) I decided to go ahead to the party dressed as Left Eye. I am a firm believer that the way a woman is dressed affects her psyche, but while I sat uncomfortably on the couch feeling out of place among the 30 other girls dressed in short skimpy outfits, my two friends were perfectly content and having a great time. I wondered what it was that was keeping me from having fun. Perhaps it was the host who kept insisting I get up, have some drinks, and dance to music I'm not completely fond of (modern rap). Or maybe it was the dissonance I felt being more uncomfortable as the least exposed female in the room. Or it could have been that none of the other 20 something's at the party knew who I was dressed up as and one girl even asked me if I was Waldo because my hat was red and white :( The party being 80% Caucasian might have a little to do with that, but these kids knew all the words to Drake and the other rap music that was playing on the stereo. They grew up in the 90's just like me. Why didn't they know who TLC was? (shrugs) I digress.



We eventually decided to ditch the party and go to a local, popular bar where there was an even bigger Halloween party going on. I decided to go home and change into my sexy cop costume from 08. I had enough of being different for one night and I wanted to escape the mood I was in and have fun with my friends. So I got changed and we went on to Lucky's Piano Bar where there were hundreds of more girls dressed up as sexy something. I was not surprised. I was dressed that way too. But I didn't feel any more comfortable. I had to have a few drinks just to let loose. I guess the night just kind of put things in perspective for me.

In most American culture, there isn't much expected of women, especially on Halloween. All you have to do is slap on a bra, some panties, and a black top hat and waalaa you're a magician! I seen a girl with leaves glued all over her bra and panties....I guess she was Eve. The men's costumes however, were something else. They were creative, intricate, thought out, and realistic. None of them were walking around with boxers and a cop hat claiming to work for the police force. I envied their ability to have that much creative freedom on this holiday and feel completely secure in themselves. Perhaps this is why men have proven to be more opportunistic and likable in corporate America, and to this day, outperform women. So this is how Halloween is when your a 20 something woman in America. My 20's seem to be becoming more and more trivial as I grow older. I'll be 24 next month and I plan to cut Alcohol out of my diet completely. I suppose I make things harder for myself doing the opposite of what my peers are doing. My father told me going against the grain is never easy but always worth while. I think he's right. While I won't be celebrating any more Halloweens dressed up as sexy something's, I hope to become more secure wearing non traditional, thought out, fun, creative costumes.

Hi I'm Jackie, and I am an Introvert...

Sometimes being an introvert can feel like a disease or a mental disorder. Especially for me. I grew up in a large family. I love having six other siblings and two loving parents. How I became an introvert? I have no clue. What I do know is that I cant change it. No matter how hard I try to engage in social activities, there will always be this yearning to be alone, in solitude, with a good book, or my own thoughts. But being surrounded by so many extraverted people, I sometimes cannot help but feel like a misfit. When I am in large groups I feel most alone. I hate it when my own thoughts are muffled by the sound of small talk. I'm not shy, or depressed, or mad at the world. It's just when I am alone and left up to my own devices, well things begin to spark, and my imagination sort of just runs wild. I get all these ideas and I feel so stimulated. It is when I am in solitude that I am most inspired to create, to write, and to just be me. Perhaps the hardest part about being an introvert is maintaining relationships. Being alone becomes habit. It becomes a way of life. It becomes an addiction. I'm always looking for a place to hide be it my bedroom, my car, a good book, and most often inside my own head. Once I shared a one bedroom apartment with an ex boyfriend and I used to hide out in the bathroom. What has helped most is gaining understanding about my own introverted tendencies and allowing myself that time to be alone. I have realized that when I do not adhere to those needs, I often take it out on other people or go on introverted binges, not engaging socially with people for days at a time. Regardless of the disadvantages of being an introvert, it has taken me far in my life and it is a large part of who I am as a person. I try and take the advice of successful introverts like Susan Cain, “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to". And when I read things like “I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little bit of a loner. It’s been a big part of my maturing process to learn to allow people to support me. I tend to be very self-reliant and private. And I have this history of wanting to work things out on my own and protect people from what’s going on with me.” by the lovely Kerry Washington, I'm reminded that I may be alone, but I'm in good company. Hi I am Jackie, and I'm an introvert.

Three Things I Wished More Americans Cared About

(Stepping up on my soap box)

1. Capitalism: The issue I have with Capitalism is that in order for it to operate effectively, poverty must exist. There has to be a class of people will do anything to survive, i.e. the men and women around the world who work 12-14 hr shifts in sweatshops that pay less than $2 an hour just to provide for their families. There has got to be a better way. What are these people seeking to gain anyway. Studies have proven over and over again, a significant increase in wealth does not equal a significant increase in happiness. So what's it really all about? Why do millions have to starve so that thousands can be extremely wealthy. My guess is that those millions starving are still probably more satisfied with their overall quality of life than these elite groups of wealthy people who are still walking around quoting Machiavelli. And then there's the middle class, who just shut up and color. Were not starving physically, but were too damn distracted to even consider there might be more to this life than working a 9-5 Monday through Friday, and spending more time trying to be entertained then engaging with our own families. The sad thing with Capitalism is that nobody really wins. The rich will always want more, the poor will continue to suffer, and the middle class will always find ways to distract themselves from these harsh realities.

2. Food: Why must I experience severe anxiety every time I take a trip to the grocery store? How come every time I research the topic, there's another unknown chemical being put in our food, and not just the processed foods, but out fruits and vegetables too? I'll tell you why...Capitalism. They alter our foods so that they can have longer shelf lives, be produced more rapidly, and cost less to produce. Why? Because it's all about making a profit. Nobody cares that were out here successfully inventing new physical illnesses each year. We spend tons of money on research to cure all these diseases, but I bet if we started with the food and drug industry we wouldn't have to spend another dime. Not only are these foods killing us, but they're also making us stupid. Don't believe me, do the research.

3. The Exploitation of Women: Today I saw three posts on social media advertising the new Grand Theft Auto game. What I didn't understand, is what a blonde girl in a bikini had anything to do with a car racing game. Although I am grateful for those women who fought for us to have the same rights as men, I cant help but think it was all in vain. Women today, especially of my generation, appear to be completely content with being objectified. Matter a fact, we do it to ourselves. In school I am told over and over again, embrace change, embrace technology, don't fall behind. So I have a twitter, a facebook, and an instagram page. But all I see is the same thing over and over and over again; Women posting pictures of themselves, with excessive amounts of makeup, and revealing clothing, and men posting often derogatory comments in response. Some women don't even put on clothes to post these pictures. They are perfectly comfortable putting nude pictures on social media. I completely understand what it feels like to want to get dressed up and be pretty and feel sexy. But when women continue to post half naked and completely naked pictures for the entertainment and approval of men, we are sending a message to the world. Women are for entertainment. They are to be seen not heard. They don't respect themselves so we shouldn't respect them either. We already have playboy, porn, and Hollywood to portray us as uneducated, simple minded, man chasing, attention seeking, and catty. By hopping on the bandwagon we are setting ourselves waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy back.

(off my soap box)

An Irrational Fear of Good People

I'm not a very religious person, but I do find that there are many philosophical truths in the Bible. One is the idea that fear is the opposite of love. John 1 4:18 says "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love". Today I came across a posting on FB of a little girl who was missing. The snapshot was a repost from Instagram that contained very little information about the little girl. It was simply a post from her mother who was frustrated and venting about the lack of support she was receiving from the media to help find her daughter. I usually repost these pictures right away, put instead I decided to look at the comments, curious to find out more information. What I found was that many people were curious like me. After reading a few nasty comments from people who claimed this was a scam, I came across a comment with a link to the actual news story. Turns out this was not a scam and this little girl really was missing, in fact she ran away which is why there was not as much publicity surrounding the story.

Then I started thinking, what if I had not found the link? Would I still have shared the post? What is it about other people potentially getting over on us that makes us so afraid and closes our hearts to others. Why do we need to have all the facts before reposting a picture of a missing child? And why does doubt seem to overpower good will? Do we really want to risk a child's life on the word of a few pessimists who believe everything on the internet is a scam? Has the media put so much fear in our hearts that we are that untrusting of one another. And so what if it was a scam, would I have taken a lost? I believe this is the same thinking that prevents us from lending a stranger a dollar, donating to a just cause, or engaging in other acts of kindness. How many times have you actually been scammed out of your money by someone other than a business trying to sell you a product you don't need? And if you have, how traumatic of an impact was that on your life? I can't recall any that I know of.

Early March of last year a video bringing awareness to the Invisible Children Campaign, which called for the arrest of Lords Resistance Army leader Joseph Kony, went viral receiving over 98 million views. It was obvious that people were moved by this film and in turn wanted to help. Then there were the pessimists, who fought long and hard to destroy the reputation of these activists whose intentions in my eyes were very clear. Call me naïve. What I do know, is that the more the pessimists fought, the more people began to doubt. And before you knew it, no one was even talking about it anymore. All people wanted to discuss was the psychotic break the director, Jason Russell, underwent, which his wife claimed was a direct result of all of the criticism and personal attacks he received over the film, which was very near to his heart. I cant help but wonder, what if things had went differently. What if all of us would have put our faith in these men, that they were doing the right thing. The way I see it this could have played out one of two ways. 1. It could have been a scam and we all could have lost the $5-$20 the majority of us may have donated to this cause, and our feelings may have been hurt for about a week. 2. We could have saved thousands of children in Africa from being kidnapped, tortured, raped, turned into sex slaves and child soldiers, and forced to kill their parents and siblings. I for one would risk being made a fool if I could save one child from this awful fate. What about you?

Nothing to do with Fashion or Food

This post has absolutely nothing to do with fashion or food. Tonight I want to talk about cognitive dissonance, I promise this will not be a lecture but more of a story. If you have read any of my prior postings then you know that I recently separated from the military. When I decided to do this I had a solid plan. I wanted to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (therapist) and treat the mentally ill as well as help others deal with everyday life issues. Having been a mental health technician in the Air Force for six years and loving it, I thought it was my calling. I had been accepted to my number one choice of schools, Howard University, and I was prepared to began my MSW in the fall. Then, on my graduation day for my undergrad, I was speaking to a few of my peers about our future endeavors. They being almost twice my age, were shocked to hear that I was separating from the military. One of them asked my age. I told them I was 23, and as if rehearsed, they all replied simultaneously, "ohhhhhhh". And then one of them said the words that have been haunting me ever since, "Well yea you can do anything, your 23"; as if it were just that simple, but then again it was, that simple. And thus began my journey.

It took me less than two weeks after that to decide I would not be pursing an MSW, but I did want to pursue something and I didn't want to take a break from school. So I decided on an MBA at the school I received my undergraduate degree. An MBA, I thought, would help me to become a great entrepreneur. But what would my business be in? I always enjoyed planning parties, so I took a few summer courses at a local community college in event planning. I even did a month long internship at an event planning firm. And then I thought well I could incorporate catering into my event planning business, because I love to cook, so I looked into culinary arts school; a little too expensive for my budget. Then I became infatuated with thrift shops and the idea of preserving the Earth by upcycling. I even started my own Instagram thrift shop @thriftshopchic! But the fact still remains, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. One day I want to be a world renown chef, the next an environmental activist encouraging people to thrift or die, and a week later a political activist trying to right all the wrongs of this world.

The thing is, 1. I am stimulated both creatively and intellectually. 2. The level of compassion I possess for mankind is insurmountable, and worst of all, 3. I am not driven by money. For this I blame my parents. As a child I was forced to read and rewarded by trips to the crafts store. My father is the most compassionate, loving human being I know, and I am not driven by money because we never had any, and I still had a great life. Cognitive dissonance is defined as the discomfort experienced when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting cognitions: ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions. I feel as if Leon Festinger got into a time machine, traveled into the future, studied my present life, traveled back to the past, and then developed this theory. I feel as if I am always in conflict when trying to figure out what it is I was put on this Earth to do. Am I here to share my creative talents with the world, or to tap into my greatest intellectual abilities, and become an activist and a scholar, changing all of humanity for the better. Maybe it's both. Maybe it's neither. Maybe it's not so much about the destination, but instead the journey. Sometimes I feel as if I am running out of time and I need to figure it out soon, but then I remember that philosophical statement that changed my life forever, "Well yea you can do anything, your 23".

Why I Thrift!

This post was inspired by a question asked by thriftpic.com on their blog recently, "Why do you thrift?". What a great question! Growing up in a family of seven children, six girls and one boy, I almost always wore hand me downs. When my parents could not afford to purchase new school clothes, I could always rely on my sisters to hand me down something fabulous. From a young age I appreciated used clothes. They were new to me, and nobody else in school would look like me. However, I envied the kids with the name brands and the new trends.

As I got older and began purchasing clothing for myself, I became addicted to shopping. It was a way to express myself creatively but it was also a temporary fulfillment that was almost always accompanied by a low. I always felt I needed something new, so I bought it, and then I felt ashamed and unfulfilled, so I bought more. It was a vicious cycle. I used my love for fashion as an excuse to spend irresponsibly and as a result I incurred a significant amount of debt and found myself in need of an alternate solution. For a long time I avoided shopping all together and forbid myself from stepping inside a mall.

I never actually considered shopping at a thrift shop until my friend Sarah and I decided to throw a 90's themed skate party for her 22nd birthday. We visited a few thrift shops to collect our attire. I was immediately hooked. These clothes were not just clothes to me, they were stories. They brought back memories. They represented our history as a country. The patterns, colors, fabrics, and designs all reminded me of the clothing I saw my older siblings wear growing up, the things my parents wore, my teachers, my friends, my favorite TV show characters, and things I wore myself as a kid. They reminded me of holidays, birthdays, school dances, people, places, music, and the list goes on. I am always overwhelmed with nostalgia when I walk into a thrift store. And I am satisfied walking out with only one or two items because its the experience that invigorates me, not the purchases. I am not consumed with shame or guilt after a thrift shop haul, but instead I am inspired by the endless possibilities and the amount of money I saved. I feel responsible and I know that I am doing something good for the planet by not increasing my water footprint, and not supporting sweatshop operated businesses. I thrift because it is who I am, embedded in my fabric, and sewn in my heart.

My Bravest Summer Yet!

I remember being a kid and at the end of every summer expecting some sort of growth be it physically or mentally. For some reason I decided it would be these three months that would mature me the most. Perhaps it was also starting another school year and the fact that my birthday came in the fall. Having now worked every summer since I was 17, this idea seemed to fade away as it no longer seemed to apply to my life. June, July, and August were just like all the other months in the year except on Saturdays and Sundays I occasionally got to frequent the pool, and wear less clothes.

This summer however was a tad bit different. This summer I made perhaps the biggest decision I will ever make in my life, and then I made many other brave decisions. The first big decision I made was to fall in love. I admit I am a hopeless romantic. But falling in love to me has always seemed foolish, dangerous, and unnecessary. I'd spent the last four years of my life dating, and having fun, but I always protected my heart not allowing anyone to get too close, and if they did for some reason, well I found a way to push them away. But this summer I gave myself completely. I gave everything I had. There were moments where I stalled and relapsed into past behaviors, but I always came back a more devoted lover and for that I am proud of myself. The second and most brave thing I did was separate from the military. This had always been the plan for the most part, to separate when my enlistment was up. But it was still very, very scary. I was warned time and time again about the economy, and how there were no jobs. I was told I wouldn't do it and that it was too easy to just stay in. It almost felt as if everyone was either calling my bluff, or calling me stupid. But I did it. I got out. I'm broke. I have no medical insurance, and no idea what the future holds, but I have never felt more alive or more happy. I'm taking a chance at life. The last bravest thing I chose to do this summer is to do what I love and broadcast it to the world. I created something from nothing almost every day this summer. I made food, vases, clothes, bowties, cupcakes, cake pops, and so much more. And then I got on Instagram, and twitter, and Pinterest and Google Plus, and I shared those creations with the world. I even created this blog. And the feedback I have received has been so encouraging. I don't have a ton of followers, or hundreds of likes on my post, but the little praise I do receive inspires me to keep creating. Because there is nothing else I'd rather do with my life than inspire creativity in others.

All in all I'd say this has been the scariest, most adventurous, most relaxing, most inspiring summer I've experienced yet! And if I had to evaluate my growth, I'd say I've grown tremendously. I've learned to embrace change, take risks, and trust in God that everything will be ok. Below are the last pair of shorts I made this summer and they are by far my favorite. I call them my Groovy, Girly, shorts :).

Uncharted territory: The Mens Section of the Thrift Shop

This week for Thrifty Thursday I decided to venture into uncharted territory, the men's section. Three words, jack freakn pot! So many vintage styled clothing. Blazers and button ups. Corduroy pants for days! I wanted to take it all. Shopping for men is so much simpler than shopping for women, yet I had so much fun. It was actually refreshing not having to sift through so many ensemble pieces. No skirts, no dresses, no purses. Then I got to thinking, this here I could turn into something big. I mean women pretty much own the thrift shop phenomenon. But how many men actually frequent the thrift shop? I mean it's a lot harder than going to a dept. store and having all the latest fashions laid out for you. So idk I'm thinking I could have something here. I'll keep you guys posted. For now take a look at these decent finds!

Thank God Its Monday!

This morning my boyfriend text me TGIM. This was the first time I'd heard of this acronym/phrase, but it wasn't the first time I'd considered the thought. It occurred to me while I was in the military that Mondays were far better than Fridays. They usually went by pretty fast. It was always a chance for a new start, and I went to work feeling a tad bit more refreshed than I ever would have on a Friday. Fridays usually dragged by even when they were busy. I found myself continuously watching the clock eager to start my weekend. And then when it was time to get off, I was usually too exhausted to do anything anyway. Fridays were overrated!

So why does everyone hate Mondays and praise Fridays? Perhaps it is because so many people are simply going through the motions the remainder of the week, going to jobs they dislike, with people they may not care for, and work that doesn't inspire. In America, and many other Country's, people live for the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, that's it! Two days out of the week, eight days out of the month, where we get to do the things we want to do instead of the things we feel we have to do. I don't know if there is anything more sad :( We trade in five miserable days of labor for two measly days of relaxation.

This is what my journey is all about, figuring out what I love to do so that I don't have to dread Mondays, and live for Fridays. And once I do that, I will encourage others to do the same. Because I refuse to live in a world where people only live 2 1/2 days a week. No wonder our Country is obsessed with drugs, alcohol, sex, celebrities, and violence. We'd rather watch people live on television or on the big screen, than take a chance at life ourselves. Talk about oppression, right here in our own Country, enslaved to our own mindset (end rant...deep sigh. Any who, that's just my two cents. Everyday is a blessing regardless of we where are at in life.

This DIY is for those of you who believe in the benefits of a healthy breakfast, but may not have time to make it every morning. Its pretty simple. Bake the egg whites in a greased muffin pan for about 10-15 min at 365 degrees. Bake the muffins on a cookie sheet for about 5-7 min at 365 degrees. Fry the Canadian bacon on medium heat about 3-5 min on each side. Place the egg whites and bacon on the muffin bottoms. Add the cheese and the muffin tops. Wrap in wax paper and place in baggies. Let cool about 20-30 min and then put in the freezer. To unfreeze place in microwave about 2-3 min, and enjoy! I hope this helps you to get through your week a little bit easier. Goodnight beautiful people!

Creativity is Contagious!

It's 15 past midnight and I just finished making a cute crop top out of a shirt I got a the thrift shop this week. Sarah and I didn't feel up to going out tonight so we watched a few movies and then killed some time on Vine. For those of you who don't know what Vine is, its a social media site that allows people to upload short video clips for others to view, and it quite entertaining! Someone once told me there are two types of people in this world, those who create, and those who admire creativity. After watching video after video, I had a strong urge to get back to my own craft, hence the DIY crop top at 11:00 pm. Sarah was quite content watching videos. I was inspired and needed to channel that overwhelming energy. What I realized, is that creativity is contagious and oh so inspiring. I am thankful for social media for many reasons, but largely because it allows us to share our unique talents with the rest of the world as well as be inspired by others unique talents. What a gift for those of us who have been burdened yet blessed with the creative gene. I say burdened because not everyone realizes there gifts as being advantageous. For instance, when I was in the military I only saw it as a nuisance, always distracting me from what I thought I was supposed to be doing. It wasn't until I really allowed myself to fully indulge in my own creativity, that I realized this is a large part of who I am. Yes I enjoy being intellectually stimulated, but creating is my passion. It is my purpose. It is me. Any who, theres a picture tutorial below for the DIY crop top. I hope you love it :) By the way I got the studded strap from Wal-Mart and used a glue gun to stick it to the pocket. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks for tuning in! Goodnight beautiful people!

Long Day Making Shorts: Thrifty Thursday/DIY Party

It's 10 past midnight and I am lying here on this couch watching Sex and the City the movie for the second time since it decided to auto replay. My thumb is throbbing as I type this post using one finger via my IPhone. All in all it was a great night. We had an amazing time at the thrift store seeking out unique transformable finds. We retreated back to the house afterwards for Chinese food and wine and then we got down to business. Carry and the gang entertained us as we began a long night of labor. I didn't realize how much work went into making these shorts until tonight. I mean we put in A LOT of work, cutting and measuring, and cutting some more, and slitting and shredding. But it was soooo worth it. I mean we really had a wonderful time. I enjoyed teaching the girls the unique skills I had picked up via YouTube tutorials. I was the subject matter expert and they my students. And they each had their unique individual personality which bled over into the creation of their shorts, which was fun to see. I would say this thrifty Thursday was definitely a success! On Saturday we will be cutting up the T-Shirts we bought at the Thrift Shop today. Should be fun! But since the weather is soon to be changing I'm eager to find some fall fashion ideas for my next few projects. I'll began my research soon. Any suggestions? Well it's way passed my bed time. Can you tell how exhausted I am?  I'll talk to you beautiful people in the A.M. Goodnight :)

Our food, beverage, and entertainment for the night <3

 

Me in the yellow teaching Karina how to fray her slits

         

          Fancy inserting her slits....

 

Aisha diligently at work 

                              

Cheese! Look at our mess! :o

Tadaaaa! Our Vintage High Waist Shorts!

Its Thrifty Freakn Thursday!

Hello there! It's Thrifty Thursday and Sarah and I have been running around all day preparing for tonight's festivities. What events might we be partaking in tonight you ask? Well, if you must know (nosey), Sarah and I are meeting up with a few of our girlfriends at the Good Will for some Thrift 101 and then back to our apt for a DIY party where......we will make Vintage, High Waist Cutoffs! I mean but it's not like I'm super excited or anything...It's just that, well thrifting has a way of energizing me. Its an invigorating adventure for those who appreciate old clothes and endless possibilities. I am a dreamer (sighs). Any who, I have to leave you to tidy up this place. Nobody needs to know I'm a hoarder. I will leave you with something to hold you over though. Below is a poster I made  for my Instagram a few weeks back, based on an article I read by Alice Chang, called Five reasons to shop at thrift shops. I warn you the poster contains a lot of plagiarism (don't tell Alice). Okay people I'm out. Don't forget to tune in later to see how the nights events play out!

Wine Bottle DIY

My roommate Sarah and I have many things in common, but mostly, sweet, cheap, wine. I'm talking 7/11 Barefoot Mascoto from the freezer in the back. We easily finish two to three large bottles a week. Well recently I came across a wine bottle DIY on Pinterest (actually it was more like 3 months ago). Any who, I finally decided to try it. The problem with me is I don't use Pinterest the way it's intended to be used. I see something I adore and absolutely must try, I pin it, and three months later I attempt to recreate it without even going back to look at the tutorial. For some reason I think I am so good that I don't need instruction or even a list of materials. Talk about overconfidence. I'm sure this DIY would have been a lot easier  had I simply referred back to the pin and saw that the material used to make the bottle was yarn, not brown bag paper ribbon (that's what I named it). So if you do try and recreate this please use yarn. Please....I'm begging you! This project also included another DIY within it, which are the felt flowers I used to decorate my bottle. Those were a lot easier to make. I actually made them about a week ago following the DIY tutorial and surprise surprise, they came out great! Both of these DIY's can be found on Pinterest. The yarn bottle @ http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/80/10/dd/8010dd15a9c8cddb230cf68baf44e266.jpg & the felt flowers @ http://pinterest.com/pin/30188259974541371/. All in all, I am happy with how my bottle turned out. Like most of my projects, it's far from perfect, but it's plentiful in character. I'll most likely use it as a centerpiece for my dining room table once fall rolls around. Maybe I'll add some twigs to it. I'm very much in love with our current summer themed dining table set up (compliments of the thrift shop and dollar tree), but who can resist those cozy autumn hues?


The higher up I got with the ribbon, the more tape I had to apply to keep the shape of the bottle. I think that's why the yarn is easier to work with. It's a lot more flexible.



Some of the Materials I used. After I almost glued my fingers together I put away the super glue and used my glue gun instead.

 

Some more of the materials I used. I used the material covering the cork for the leaves on the flowers. Worked like a charm!

 

The finished product!

Our current dining room table set up. I love the elegance of it. Makes me feel fancy ;)