This post has absolutely nothing to do with fashion or food. Tonight I want to talk about cognitive dissonance, I promise this will not be a lecture but more of a story. If you have read any of my prior postings then you know that I recently separated from the military. When I decided to do this I had a solid plan. I wanted to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (therapist) and treat the mentally ill as well as help others deal with everyday life issues. Having been a mental health technician in the Air Force for six years and loving it, I thought it was my calling. I had been accepted to my number one choice of schools, Howard University, and I was prepared to began my MSW in the fall. Then, on my graduation day for my undergrad, I was speaking to a few of my peers about our future endeavors. They being almost twice my age, were shocked to hear that I was separating from the military. One of them asked my age. I told them I was 23, and as if rehearsed, they all replied simultaneously, "ohhhhhhh". And then one of them said the words that have been haunting me ever since, "Well yea you can do anything, your 23"; as if it were just that simple, but then again it was, that simple. And thus began my journey.
It took me less than two weeks after that to decide I would not be pursing an MSW, but I did want to pursue something and I didn't want to take a break from school. So I decided on an MBA at the school I received my undergraduate degree. An MBA, I thought, would help me to become a great entrepreneur. But what would my business be in? I always enjoyed planning parties, so I took a few summer courses at a local community college in event planning. I even did a month long internship at an event planning firm. And then I thought well I could incorporate catering into my event planning business, because I love to cook, so I looked into culinary arts school; a little too expensive for my budget. Then I became infatuated with thrift shops and the idea of preserving the Earth by upcycling. I even started my own Instagram thrift shop @thriftshopchic! But the fact still remains, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. One day I want to be a world renown chef, the next an environmental activist encouraging people to thrift or die, and a week later a political activist trying to right all the wrongs of this world.
The thing is, 1. I am stimulated both creatively and intellectually. 2. The level of compassion I possess for mankind is insurmountable, and worst of all, 3. I am not driven by money. For this I blame my parents. As a child I was forced to read and rewarded by trips to the crafts store. My father is the most compassionate, loving human being I know, and I am not driven by money because we never had any, and I still had a great life. Cognitive dissonance is defined as the discomfort experienced when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting cognitions: ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions. I feel as if Leon Festinger got into a time machine, traveled into the future, studied my present life, traveled back to the past, and then developed this theory. I feel as if I am always in conflict when trying to figure out what it is I was put on this Earth to do. Am I here to share my creative talents with the world, or to tap into my greatest intellectual abilities, and become an activist and a scholar, changing all of humanity for the better. Maybe it's both. Maybe it's neither. Maybe it's not so much about the destination, but instead the journey. Sometimes I feel as if I am running out of time and I need to figure it out soon, but then I remember that philosophical statement that changed my life forever, "Well yea you can do anything, your 23".
