Halloween used to be my favorite Holiday. I am a very creative person. I love getting dressed up, creating my own costume, and seeing other peoples creativity at work. However, this Halloween was kind of disturbing for me. At first I decided not to conform to the overly sexualized adult female costume trend that most women my age subscribe to on Halloween. I feel uncomfortable these day going out in a too short dress, so Halloween is really no different. I don't believe I should lower my standards just because the rest of society is doing so. I'm 23 and I'm no saint, but I have developed a certain amount of respect for my body and for myself. At some point I realized, If I don't respect me, nobody will. Any who, this year I decided to be Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopez, the deceased member of TLC. When I finally got my costume together and put it on I did not feel liberated, I felt uncomfortable. It would have been a hell of a lot easier just to throw on the sexy cop costume I purchased back in 2008, but never actually wore out. But with some reassurance from my older sister, an encouraging cousin, and my best friend, (via facebook) I decided to go ahead to the party dressed as Left Eye. I am a firm believer that the way a woman is dressed affects her psyche, but while I sat uncomfortably on the couch feeling out of place among the 30 other girls dressed in short skimpy outfits, my two friends were perfectly content and having a great time. I wondered what it was that was keeping me from having fun. Perhaps it was the host who kept insisting I get up, have some drinks, and dance to music I'm not completely fond of (modern rap). Or maybe it was the dissonance I felt being more uncomfortable as the least exposed female in the room. Or it could have been that none of the other 20 something's at the party knew who I was dressed up as and one girl even asked me if I was Waldo because my hat was red and white :( The party being 80% Caucasian might have a little to do with that, but these kids knew all the words to Drake and the other rap music that was playing on the stereo. They grew up in the 90's just like me. Why didn't they know who TLC was? (shrugs) I digress.
We eventually decided to ditch the party and go to a local, popular bar where there was an even bigger Halloween party going on. I decided to go home and change into my sexy cop costume from 08. I had enough of being different for one night and I wanted to escape the mood I was in and have fun with my friends. So I got changed and we went on to Lucky's Piano Bar where there were hundreds of more girls dressed up as sexy something. I was not surprised. I was dressed that way too. But I didn't feel any more comfortable. I had to have a few drinks just to let loose. I guess the night just kind of put things in perspective for me.
In most American culture, there isn't much expected of women, especially on Halloween. All you have to do is slap on a bra, some panties, and a black top hat and waalaa you're a magician! I seen a girl with leaves glued all over her bra and panties....I guess she was Eve. The men's costumes however, were something else. They were creative, intricate, thought out, and realistic. None of them were walking around with boxers and a cop hat claiming to work for the police force. I envied their ability to have that much creative freedom on this holiday and feel completely secure in themselves. Perhaps this is why men have proven to be more opportunistic and likable in corporate America, and to this day, outperform women. So this is how Halloween is when your a 20 something woman in America. My 20's seem to be becoming more and more trivial as I grow older. I'll be 24 next month and I plan to cut Alcohol out of my diet completely. I suppose I make things harder for myself doing the opposite of what my peers are doing. My father told me going against the grain is never easy but always worth while. I think he's right. While I won't be celebrating any more Halloweens dressed up as sexy something's, I hope to become more secure wearing non traditional, thought out, fun, creative costumes.
